Oh Primus, no....

My Birthday... it's in a few days; June 13 to be exact. But I am not excited at all, I'm just..... nervous? apprehensive? I don't know I'm not a fan that I'm turning another year older? I don't know what this feeling is but I think it's anxiety or something, I guess I'm scared of the future, when I finally reach 18 (the official rank of adult) I guess I can no longer act like a kid or something (is it so wrong I don't wanna grow up?). The feeling makes me want to be a teen forever. I just don't know how to put this into words, this has been bugging me for months and I finally feel like posting it.

Sorry that this is somewhat sketchy, I just don't know how to explain it.

I mean I'm not complaining or anything like 'oh I'm not getting what I want for my birthday' or 'this birthday is the worst birthday in the histories of birthdays!' or anything, I'm just thankful that I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I just wanna get this out.